Trying My Hand At Haiku

A few months ago, I wanted to try my hand at haiku.  I’m no poet but I loved how one could use this form to capture an idea in such few words.  But I needed someone to tell me that if I was doing it right. I sent off a message to Ruchira Shukla, someone who writes brilliant haiku and who is also an expert in Japanese. Ruchira gave me some insight into it – but I didn’t have the guts to try it out.

I decided then to ask Ruchira to share her knowledge on Write Tribe, which she most graciously did here. Her ‘rain’ prompt has set off a flood of Haiku with many of us trying our hand at it for the first time. Here are my feeble attempts:

Steady stream of blessings
Tapping on the window panes
Drenches the heart with love

and

In the far horizon
Threatening clouds of anger
Looking within – peace.

 

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About CorinneRodrigues

A Mumbai-based blogger, writer, motivator - journeying happily through midlife. I blog here and on Write Tribe and From 7Eight. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter and Google+

Comments

  1. After Ruchira’s prompt, I know now that a Haiku is no laughing matter. I loved the thought behind your words Corinne, and the feelings that were conveyed. I think this is a brilliant attempt 🙂
    May you always have Peace <3

  2. Excellent – my kind of haiku. Love how you call the rain blessings and love how you contrast a storm and peace in your second one.

  3. wow this is the best rain haiku so far . I love that getting drenched in love part 😉 am addicted to Haikus nw

  4. That’s not feeble at all. I think it’s lovely 🙂

  5. They are indeed lovely Corinne…great attempt.

    BTW, Ruchira suggested me not to use ‘the’ in a Haiku…you might wanna check that with her as well. 🙂 Stay well!

  6. You came. You tried. You conquered.

  7. Oh wow wow wow. I liked the second one a wee bit more 🙂

  8. I like the first one beta!

  9. The verse is beautiful, Corinne. It is no feeble attempt at all.

    The syllable count is different though – the first one is a 6-7-6 and the second a 6-7-5 🙂

    Love, Vidya

    • Thanks, Vidya. You’re right about the syllable count – when I count it, it’s exactly what you said. But the syllable counter says something else! I think I’ll stick to my own counting! 😛

  10. Lovely!
    Such a fabulous attempt!
    very beautiful

  11. If I may be honest – The first one is good – The kigo is there, the rules are followed (although there is a syllable count confusion !) and its nice to read. The second one though is so much closer to what my definition of a Haiku is ! It comes very close to capturing the essence of a Haiku !

  12. Lovely set! The first one is my favourite!:)

  13. Aha! So very beautiful… both of them! Fabulous first attempt, Corinne! 🙂

  14. Beautiful esp if it’s a first attempt then too good.

  15. And you don’t write poetry huh!!! 😡

    I loved both of them. So much of warmth they exude. wow!

  16. Wow, Corinne, these are amazing!!! My opinion? You need to write more of these, my friend. You have a gift for them!
    Love and blessings!

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