55 Fiction

 

This is in response to a brilliant tutorial and a prompt by Vidya Sury on Write Tribe.

 

Train Tracks 

Rahul walked slowly alongside the tracks.  Fed up of the monotony of it all, he wondered if he should end it. Everything seemed  meaningless without his sweet Sheela.  He wasn’t  allowed to meet her  since she fell ill.  Suddenly, he heard a voice, “Rahul, stop it! That toy train of yours is driving me mad!”

 

 

 

Felíz Día de las Madres - Happy Mother's Day

Yellow Roses

“You don’t bring me flowers any more!” she had cried yesterday.
He bought yellow roses on his way to meet her that evening. On the card he wrote, ‘To the love of my life!’
“Look what I brought for you, sweetheart!”
“My favorite,” she said flashing him a toothless smile. “But who are you?”

 

 

 

 

 

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About CorinneRodrigues

A Mumbai-based blogger, writer, motivator - journeying happily through midlife. I blog here and on Write Tribe and From 7Eight. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter and Google+

Comments

  1. 😀 I loved both! The toy train twist was great!
    And the Alzheimer’s twist to the second one is superb.
    Did you enjoy writing them?

  2. Great surprise twist for both! Good ones, Corinne.

  3. Corinne! I am bowled over by the second one! The perfect,classic 55-er. WTG. 🙂
    The other one is good too, but my fav takes away all my attention. 😀

  4. Those are nice…the first one really cute and the second one was such an unexpected twist! Very nice!!

  5. Kalpana Solsi says:

    The first one , a superb twist. I was scared.
    The second one of the old age dementia. so sad. written so beautifully.

  6. I liked both of them. The twists are really good.

  7. Beautiful stories. Especially the second one. Reminded me of ‘The Notebook’ 🙂

  8. Oh you are a master story teller. Loved the twist in both. I absolutely love yellow roses. And I hope I will always know the loves of my life 🙂

  9. Both Superb! Yellow roses captivated me to think on it for long….

  10. Brilliant. You are good at this. Loved the interesting twist in both the stories.

  11. I loved both of your stories. They were both brilliant but I have to say that the twist in the first one was my absolute favorite. Brilliant!!

  12. Corinne you are a perfect story teller. With what ease and finesse you have written 55 words ! Amazing! I loved both.

  13. Loved the second piece 🙂 there was something about the toothless smile that made me grin…..reminded me of those numerous mosquito ads that are coming on tv these days 🙂

  14. Excellent!

  15. You continue to amaze me with your creativity and you also inspire me to try different forms of writing.

  16. Applause!! Both the 55ers are simply fab! Loved the twists!! 🙂

  17. Brilliant job! Completely bowled over by the second one!!

  18. I liked both..but the second one broke my heart and i loved it more :’) Alzheimer’s is one of my irrational fear wala illness

  19. Enjoyed both! But t he train twist was unexpected and the second too. keep writing more 🙂

  20. That was so beautiful Corinne! The second one especially so…

  21. Both are superb. While the second one makes your heart wrench. The first one gives you a strong jolt. So my favorite here is the first one.

    Toy trains hold a very special place in my heart, after of course a bicycle.

  22. Nice twist in the first one. The second one just made me sad

  23. OMG!! both are lovely and brilliant… loved the toy train thing in the first one, bought a smile 🙂 … second one was touchy with the disease… nice ones

  24. Both the stories had a wonderful surprise element. They bought managed to make me smile 🙂

  25. Such beautiful stories expressing love and various expressions in few words. Flawless writing:)

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